Truly Exceptional

At a recent workshop I attended on customer experience, our speaker pointed out how Starbucks has managed to create an amazing "third space" that we've all come to rely on between home and work.  If you are a Starbucks or Caribou addict like I am, you know what she means.

A few months ago, I was going through the drive-through of my "third space" when something truly amazing happened: the driver in front of me paid for my drink!  I was blown away.  In fact, I was speechless and dumb-founded.  I drove to work and told all of my coworkers.  I posted it on my Facebook page.   I really couldn't believe it.  And it made my day.   

But then I started wondering, what is wrong with me?  Why did this one small act of kindness, given all of the exceptional generosity and unexpected support we've had since February 23, put me into a tail spin?   

"Exceptional becomes truly exceptional when it becomes the rule."  Linda Ireland made this comment about the customer experience, but I love the broader meaning it has.  My Starbucks friend didn't know if I was having a bad day, or a bad year, but she chose to be generous - just because.  Generosity can be the rule, with or without a reason for it.  It can be a gift, or as simple as a smile.  It's listening, or asking how you can help.  It's being patient with each other.  It's something I've relied on this year more than ever, and it is truly exceptional when it is present in your life.             

Progress

The recent progress on our house has been exciting to watch. The interior walls are in place, the windows are in, and a crew was working on the roof shingles today. It is really starting to look like a house, and we can't wait to live there. Annika and Marit like to explore inside the house and are curious about the whole process, wondering, "Isn't our house going to have a door? Are we always going to have to walk up a plank to get in? Are we going to have to use that dirty tub?" For Matt and me, it is fun to see the designs we studied on paper come to life, albeit with some surprises. It is a big house - no doubt about it - but it is beautiful and we can't wait to move in and invite you all over!

Edina Sun Current, August 26, 2010

http://mnsun.com/articles/2010/08/27/edina/news/ed26augustsons.txt

Worst-Case Scenario?

We’ve done two interviews in recent weeks – one for our local paper and one for Minnesota Monthly. It has me thinking again about how surreal the past six months have been. Is it really possible for a house to blow up? How could that happen?

I used to have a couple of books from the “Worst-Case Scenario Survival” collection (Joshua Piven). First, there was the “Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Parenting,” which includes topics like how to deal with a screaming baby on an airplane, how to discipline an imaginary friend, and how to tell if your child was switched at birth. Later, I was given “The Complete Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook,” which includes instructions for how to fend off a shark, how to deal with an alligator near your golf ball, and at least 200 other crazy scenarios. Most of the scenarios are hilarious and many of them are marginally plausible, but I don’t think they had a scenario for what to do if your house blows up.

Someone close to me said shortly after the accident, “Jen, this is probably the worst thing that can happen to you next to somebody dying.” Unfortunately, several people in my life are currently dealing with the sudden loss of a loved one or the agony of chronic illnesses, and the emotional toll these experiences cause cannot be matched. It makes our experience seem exponentially easier on the heart. Our emotions are still high from the stress of it all, but we have to put it into perspective. Sadly, it could be worse.

On a lighter note, we took our local reporter out to the site to take some photos. While we were there, I found an odd little toy that must have surfaced when the dirt was filled in around the foundation – our Kevin Garnett Celebriduck. A give-away at a Timberwolves game circa 2003, I originally saved it thinking it might be worth a few bucks on eBay some day. That thought subsided when we needed bath toys for Annika, but now, I wonder what a Kevin Garnett rubber ducky that survived a house explosion might be worth!? Must have been made of gold!

Breaking Ground, Finally!

I’m hoping there’s a way to add music to this blog post, because we’re CELEBRATING! The rebuilding project begins tomorrow. Finally! Sorting out the budget was complicated and left us in a holding pattern for almost two months, but we’re able to move ahead now. Our builder, Judd Stattine, has been very patient with us, and gone above and beyond to respond to the requests of our insurance adjuster and the city. The same can be said about our architects, Tim Quigley and Bob LeMoine. We feel very lucky to be working with this team.

I had grand ideas about planning a ground-breaking ceremony and inviting all of our friends and neighbors to celebrate with us. I’m now thinking it will be more fun to celebrate with everyone when we are settled back in our new home. But there definitely will be a toast or two this week!

The first week will be focused on clearing and excavating the lot, and the foundation work will start after that. The current timeline runs through mid-January, which obviously misses our goal of moving in by Christmas, but at this point we are just thrilled to have a timeline. Here’s a sneak peak of what the completed home should look like! Can you name that tune?

So, who's the next lucky couple?

"So, who's the next lucky couple?" I don't think the Zoning Board chair realized how ironic his choice of words was as he moved to our item on the agenda, but I found it very humorous. The Board approved our variance request last Thursday for the placement of our garage, another step toward setting a ground-breaking date. The variance allows us to build the detached garage back-to-back with our neighbor's garage, preserving more of our yard space than what the street set-back requirements would have allowed.

Over the next couple of weeks we expect to receive final approval on our building permit and to finalize our budget for the project. Getting anxious to see that light at the end of the tunnel!

Way to go, Annika!

Annika received special recognition this morning by our school district for being such a brave, resilient girl, and we're very proud of her! A special thanks to Krista Smedstad, Marcia Friedman, and Superintendent Ric Dressen.

Pre-Construction Video 1.0

Daily Shenanigans

We’ve had a busy month. Between work, school, travel, illnesses, doctor appointments, and other activities, most of our days feel like business as usual, yet there is always this extra layer of "stuff" hovering around us. Where are we with the house designs? Were we supposed to make a decision about the basement floor plan? Let's plan a ground breaking! I should be working on the inventory. Did I save the receipt for my new sandals? I should be writing more thank you notes. Where is the closest gas station? There’s no décor in this townhouse – should we buy something for that wall? We don't have a hammer. Don't we have an ice scream scoop? Do I have to miss work for that appointment? I’ll write a letter to the city about the retaining wall. The fire chief called. Has the adjuster called back? I’m too tired to work on that right now. Let’s watch DIY. Insurance needs our birth certificates - are they legible? Annika misses her duckie. Will Marit ever sleep through the night again? Is it still 2010?

Yes, we feel as crazed as this sounds. The fact is, before any of this happened, we thought we were so busy that we couldn’t possibly fit another thing into our lives. But somehow you do. You adapt. You learn to ask for and receive help. You don’t do as much of what you did before. You lower your standards. You whine. You have planning meetings with your spouse. You have planning meetings with your kids. You get tired of planning and love it when a friend makes the plans. You eat up the random acts of kindness – dinner, shopping, etc. You think about how lucky you will be to have a new house. You think about how lucky you are to have each other. You think you are OK most of the time, but you wonder if you really are. You should really spend less time thinking and more time laughing. You pray that everything will be OK and know that it will.

Urgent Care

Urgent Care plays an important role in the life of an Augustson. It allows us to be spontaneous in addressing our health care needs, and provides convenient after-hours access. I'm guessing these attributes aren't part of the mission of Urgent Care, but it's the reality for these working parents. In fact, we frequent urgent care so often that Annika refers to the entire medical building as Urgent Care, and when she noticed that the Columbia logo on her jacket resembled the Park Nicollet logo, she began referring to it as her Urgent Care jacket assuming that was where I had bought it.

The week that we lost our home, something remarkable happened during our visit to Urgent Care. Marit had a terrible cold and pain in both ears. With tears welling up in my eyes, I began to explain to our nurse why we had too much stress in our lives for her to suffer in this way. Before I could finish my sentence, the nurse lunged forward to grab my knee, and exclaimed, "We were meant to meet today! You saved my life!!"

My mouth dropped open as we stared at each other and I waited for her to explain. "What do you mean by that, exactly?"

Michele went on to explain that the night before, she had smelled gas in her house and realized that her water heater wasn't working. She immediately thought of our family and ran out of her house, grabbing only her dog and her slippers. A short time later, CenterPoint arrived to discover dangerous levels of gas in her home and a furnace and water heater that would need to be replaced. With a husband deployed in Afghanistan, the expense was painful, but minor in comparison to how tragic it could have been.

Michele's feeling of connection to me was sincere. To say that I had saved her life was much too generous, but I was overwhelmed at that moment with the chance of our meeting, with the possibility that there was a silver lining to our cloud, and with the true compassion and appreciation this woman was offering me. She had all of the right words, and counseled me like she was my guardian angel. I am usually a very private person when it comes to my faith, but I felt God's presense and assurance in that moment like never before.

Michele later e-mailed me the journal entry she had written the night of her gas leak. She wrote with gratitude and relief and a confirmation of her faith. In her e-mail, she said, "I know that this whole ordeal will draw your family together and you will experience a special love and support from your community, complete strangers, and family and friends, that most people will not have the opportunity to experience."

I will always remember that moment and Michele's words, and look forward to seeing her often in Urgent Care.

Book Club

I am so excited for my book club to meet this week. The last time we met was February 23, a day that didn't turn out anything like I expected.

We were supposed to meet at my house. None of us were too excited about the book we'd read, but getting together was half of the fun. My house was clean and ready. Matt was out of town, but I would be able to get the girls to bed while my friends poured the wine and settled in for a good discussion.

I barely remember the call to Amy. I was sitting in my co-worker's car, blocks away from our house, and still hadn't seen the site with my own eyes. Book club will need to be canceled...you might be able to see it on TV...I don't really know what I said, but I remember how incredulous the words sounded as they came out of my mouth.

I spent the next hour or two trying to get information from the police, watching the scene on TV with other neighbors, checking in with the vet about Grete's status, and responding to calls, text messages, emails, and Facebook messages about whether everyone was OK. It was surreal. I had no idea what I should be doing.

Later that night, my friends came to visit me at my parent's house. They brought clothes and supplies and the cake they had planned to surprise me with for my birthday. But most of all they brought me comfort.

Book club will be at another friend's house this week, and hopefully it will be a fun and completely uneventful night. Now, I just need to finish the book!

Rebuilding

Building a house. It sounds daunting when it isn't something we ever planned to do, much less have to do at this point in our lives. But so far, this part of our recovery is going as well as we could hope.

We found a great builder who has expertise in working with insurance claims, and was also recommended by neighbors. We have two architects who contacted us through an Ole connection and share our interest in preserving the character of the neighborhood in our new home. Together, we are a team of five who now meet almost weekly, usually at our architects' office in International Market Square. We've given ourselves a challenging deadline: permit-ready plans by May 17, with a goal to start building in early June. If we can work effectively together, be efficient decision makers, and schedule work in a timely manner, and all of the planets are aligned, we might be able to move into our new home by Christmas. It is a stretch, but we might as well be optimistic.

Many people have asked me if the new house will look the same as our old house. This isn't likely, as city codes have changed. We also have an opportunity to correct a deficiency in our old house - our single car garage. The placement of a two car garage was the first big decision we made, along with whether to appeal to City Council for a curb cut on 50th. We've opted for a plan that won't require the variance and will be the best way to optimize our backyard, with the garage at the back of the lot and a long driveway to Arden Avenue. This appears to be the norm on lots of our size in the neighborhood.

We have many more decisions ahead, much to learn about the process, and hopefully some fun, too.

Rising to the occasion

When something heartbreaking or difficult happens to someone I know I often struggle to think of a truly meaningful way to help. That’s why I’ve been so impressed with the ingenuity of some of our friends. On Day One, there were the “first responders” who brought pajamas, tooth brushes, contact lens solution, shampoo, hair brushes, and even underwear before I had even realized we were without them.

In the days that followed, we saw these examples of the resourcefulness and creativity of our friends:

• A former manager of mine created a Shutterfly account called Augustson Rebuild and drafted instructions we can send to family and friends on how to upload photos.
• A college friend contacted St. Olaf and requested replacement copies of the yearbooks from our days “on the Hill.”
• A neighbor re-ordered Annika’s school portraits and delivered them with dinner.
• A team of neighbors prescreened a list of rental properties for us so that we could focus on the best options.
• A high school classmate used Facebook to organize and collect donations of clothing and toys.
• Close friends delivered photos and mementos from our friendships over the years.
  

I could go on and on, but the point is that these great people have inspired me to find new ways to rise to the occasion when I am looking for a way to help others. Thanks all!

Do you know what's in your closets and drawers?

Today marks one month since we lost our home, and we are still amazed at how quickly life can take a turn. Still, there was good news today: Our wonder dog Grete has recovered 100%! She received a clean bill of health from the vet. Also, a few of our recovered belongings returned from being "ozoned" (a.k.a. cleaned), including some jewelry, a handful of photos and documents from our fire-proof safe (fire-proof, but not water proof!).

Our current challenge is creating an inventory of everything we owned - from toothpicks to televisions - for purposes of our insurance claim. Believe me, this is not an exercise anyone would choose to do for fun. In fact, when expressing our frustration to the insurance adjuster, he said "yep, this is about the point when everyone gets frustrated." Without being able to look around at our stuff, we are attempting to identify each item, when and where we bought it, and what it will cost to replace it. It is the most laborious, tedious thing I have ever had to do, and stretches a person's sanity. Some items can be bundled, but that only solves part of the problem. It's also depressing to think of things we won't be able to replace, like a favorite baseball glove or the Christmas stockings my grandma made.

However, wedding registries are saving the day. First of all, my mom found ours, along with a complete list of the gifts we received for our wedding 13 years ago. This find is amazing in itself, and tremendously helpful for our documentation efforts.

Secondly, our friend Robyn is brilliant. She suggested using the wedding registry systems at the stores we frequent to efficiently collect current prices. So, Matt and I spent five hours at various stores on Sunday walking around with a scanner, each time leaving with a print-out of items we owned and their prices. Did I mention how brilliant Robyn is? This was especially effective at Target, where we literally walked up and down every aisle identifying things from our house.

I've lost track of how many total hours we've spent on this project, and there is still no end in sight, but at least there's progress!

The explosion

Earlier this week, a new hair stylist asked me where I lived. When I replied that I lived near 50th and France, she asked, "So, did you hear that big house explosion?"

Everybody within at least six blocks of our house heard the explosion. A bank manager on France Avenue said he was standing in the middle of the branch office when the massive boom shook their windows. He and many others in the area darted for their front doors assuming that it was their own house or office that was about to fall.

Our dear next door neighbor was in her family room with her five year old son. Fire fighters were standing on the street in front of the house. Other neighbors witnessed our house as it senselessly crumbled and burned. How could you erase that image from your mind? How could you move beyond that fear?

We've had a lot to deal with the past few weeks, but I am so grateful that I neither saw nor heard the explosion. Somebody I work with sent me this quotation from Ralph Waldo Emerson: "What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." Sending my love and strength to our neighbors as they work to overcome this tragic memory.

Grief

Despite holding it together most of the time, there are moments when it all seems overwhelming. This is one of those moments. I had just flipped open my laptop to check e-mail and update the blog when I heard crying from upstairs. I ran up the stairs to check on whomever was upset, and found Marit sitting in the middle of her room, cross legged, bawling, and repeating the words, "I...want...to...go...home" in between her sobs. I scooped her up, hugged her tightly and gently reminded her that this is home. As I tucked her back into bed, she quickly drifted off to sleep. Now, I'm back at my laptop, googling "grief in children," mad at myself for assuming Marit wouldn't be as affected by this as the rest of us, thinking about calling a friend who is a grief counselor, and just wishing I could make it better for her.

The little stuff

It is amazing how many little things you rely on in your house without really thinking about it. Last week, I actually purchased a tweezers. I don’t remember ever buying a tweezers before – I just had one and used it from time to time.

Last Thursday at work, a coworker commented on my new haircut. I had to explain that I had not actually had a haircut; buying a hairdryer simply hadn't made it to the top of my to-do list yet. (However, you can be sure this prompted me to finally buy one.)

At one of our hotels, Annika found a safety pin on the floor, and excitedly rushed to me to say, “Mom, our first safety pin!!” Yes, I guess it’s time to start collecting things again.

Home

We moved into the town house last Wednesday that we plan to stay in until our new home is built. It is a standard two-level, with three spacious bedrooms upstairs. We have furniture and basic house wares from a leasing company, and closets and drawers to start filling. It feels great.

Our first night here Marit asked me, “Is this home or another vacation?” Over the past two weeks, whenever we referred to my parents’ house or our hotel as “home,” Marit would dispute it and say, “that’s not home. Home is yellow.” (Our house was actually light brown, but who’s going to argue.) She preferred to refer to our hotel as “the building,” and once explained to me, “A fire bumped over my house and now I need to live in a building.”

After being here several days, Marit seems to have accepted that this is home for now, along with the rest of us. I’m sure we’ll have some fun memories here. It’s hard not to have fun when you have a two-year-old princess to keep you on your toes.

Where's Waldo?

Canvassing our property for remnants of our belongings is a bit like playing "Where's Waldo." On our first visit, Matt and I did not see much that was recognizable. Pieces of our duvet cover, scraps of the living room window treatments, and a Vikings sweatshirt were about all that we could identify. It was a surreal site. The next day, we toured the damage to our neighbors home, and could see miscellaneous items from Marit's bedroom in their garage, tangled up with wood, siding, glass, etc. Insulation was sprinkled around the neighborhood, as were the valentines that Annika had received from her classmates and proudly placed on top of her dresser.

To date, we've recovered only a few items, but they are meaningful ones: a favorite family photo still intact in its frame, a small quilt that Matt's mom had made for Marit, and a special canvass painting from Annika's room. Like our dog, it is a mystery how these particular items survived, but we will hold them close.

Although we have lost most of our "things," we feel abundant in the things that matter most. Family, friends, friends-of-friends, neighbors, current coworkers, former coworkers, church members, teachers, school administrators, classmates, girl scouts, daycare buddies, local businesses, and complete strangers have given us the encouragement and support we needed the past two weeks, and equipped us with the necessities. Through the wonders of Facebook, a high school classmate orchestrated an abundantly successful drive to collect clothing, toys, and donations, and put many smiles on the faces of our girls. We are blessed by everyone's generosity and sure hope we can find enough ways to pay it forward!!

Wonder Dog

In one of our favorite new animated movies, "Up", the dogs have high-tech collars that allow them to say just what's on their mind ("Squirrel!"). Lately, we've been wishing that our nine year old black lab, Grete, had one of those collars.

By the fire chief's account, Grete was probably launched from our house by the explosion. A good samaritan and pet-lover driving by at just the right moment saw a charred dog running erratically through traffic, and followed her half a mile until she could coerce Grete into her car. The police suggested she take Grete to Westgate Pet Clinic.

Because Grete was a regular Westgate patient, the clinic had her records with Matt's cell phone number, and called him to let him know that Grete was safe. Oddly enough, Westgate was the first to notify Matt that something was wrong. Matt was in Amsterdam on business, and learned of the accident via Westgate within minutes of when I received the news.

Grete's injuries included burns around her ears and nose, red, blurry eyes with reduced tear production, and sliced-off pads on three of her paws. We are proud to say that as of TODAY, Grete no longer needs daily visits to Westgate, has graduated from the protective wrappings on her feet, and is truly returning to her normal self! She still has medication for her eyes and burns, but all-in-all, she is doing amazingly well. She is a wonder dog.

We are so grateful for the excellent care and generosity from Westgate Pet Clinic. They have adopted Grete as their own wonder dog and provided extra special care, thereby taking care of all of us. We also appreciate others who have reached out to help Grete with her recovery, including Karen, who tracked us down through Fox9 news to donate one of her handmade dog beds, and friends of SideWalkDog.com who have donated food and a kennel. The media continues to express interest in Grete's story as well.

I have an image in my head of Grete emerging from the smoke and fire with a red cape on, bravely racing to safety. If there are any witnesses out there that can help crystalize this picture for me, I'd love to hear from you!

"I think it's your house"

On the afternoon February 23, 2010, I received a phone call at work from a friend in our neighborhood. She was upset, but to the point. "This is a horrible phone call to make...a gas leak...an explosion..." And then I heard the words that left me in shock and disbelief for several days: "I think it's your house."

That moment was the beginning of a new journey for the Augustson family. It has been 10 days since our home was leveled by a gas explosion, and I have stories to fill a lifetime. There are literally hundreds of people who have reached out to share their support, concern and relief that we are all OK, and we couldn't be more appreciative of their thoughtfulness.

Ironically, I created this blog, Arden Moments, on February 22 for a class I am taking in Web 2.0. I planned to chronicle the fun moments in our lives at our home on Arden Avenue. This blog has a slightly different purpose for the short term, but someday soon we'll return to our simple life and I can go back to unabashedly bragging about my sweet, resilient girls.